Lowering My Expectations (aka 2017 Writing Goals)

Anyway, while using the restroom today (for some reason all of my best writing ideas come to me while I'm on the toilet; gross, I know) I suddenly realized that my therapist is right: I expect too much out of people. While this advice was referencing a completely unrelated issue, today I connected it to an issue I've been having with myself: writer's block.

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Happy Birthday to Me

So, future Stephani ... are you still happy?

It’s Okay to Cry

As held me on his lap, tears slipping quietly from his eyes as he lost the second woman he thought he loved, my dad was the first person to teach me that it's okay to cry when you're hurt. He had just asked me if I wanted her - a woman whose name slips my … Continue reading It’s Okay to Cry

Choosing Health over Happiness

All of my life, I've strived to be "happy" by being "on track" towards the American Dream...

Knowing when to move on makes you brave, not weak or cowardly

When I was at my last job, I was told that I should just "deal with my bad boss," because everyone has dealt with at least one bad boss in their lifetime. But no one, and I mean literally no one, should have to deal with an abusive person in their life. What she was doing would have been considered illegal if we were at a school, or if we had been in a domestic relationship.

I am Struggling and I am Afraid

Trying to explain your brain, and the way it works, to someone without mental illness is like trying to explain a starry night to someone that was born blind. You see, there's a bunch of stars. They're like little white lights on this black and blue ocean of sky. You get it? It makes me … Continue reading I am Struggling and I am Afraid

My New Normal

Last week I was diagnosed with ADD. Even though it's not cancer, or something that can kill me, it has threatened my life in the past. As you might have read in some of my older blogs, I have contemplated suicide when I felt like I had let down my husband, my family, and myself. … Continue reading My New Normal

She’s Not Heavy, She’s My Mother

Spending time with family has not always been the easiest thing for me to do. I felt lost most of my life, and I never really valued who I had in my life until I got out of the house. My father taught me to value and lean on my independence, and as only child, … Continue reading She’s Not Heavy, She’s My Mother

Keep Stumbling

And it's when inspiration That brings you to tears Demolishes those fears that once brought you to your knees It brings you up And pushes you forward Keeping your mind sharp And removes all cowardice So what can you do But bend with the wind Push past the blizzard Or stumble through the rocks? You … Continue reading Keep Stumbling

Ode to My Inner Child

Draw me today The way I perceive My inner most self to be. Erase all the flaws Highlight the best traits And smooth the roughness you see. Search for the child Who begs to be free Colored by rainbows and peace. Enhance the laugh lines Shade the regrets And reapply naivety.